It has occurred to me that I have not written a bog post in
several months. There have been a few
times while doing dishes, making baby food, folding laundry, changing a diaper
or rocking my sweet baby to sleep that I have thought, I should write something. That quickly turns into an inner dialogue
which includes questions like, what will I write about? What should my topic be when I now have
everything I ever wanted? Should I write
about Jase’s milestones? Does anyone
want to read about that? Wow, my life
literally revolved around our pursuit to become a family…..is that selfish????
I remember that about this time last year I had posted that I
would be doing an Intentional Act of Kindness for every day of February to
celebrate how others have blessed me along the way as I placed my focus on
blessing others instead of wallowing in my self-pity as I turned another year
older. I have tried to continue that
same plan this year (with the exception of the recent snow days) because I truly
believe it was no coincidence that once I was able to take my focus off my
grief and place it on finding ways to bless others, then we received the
wonderful phone call letting us know we had been chosen by Leah. Funny how those things tend to work out that
way, huh?
So, it’s February again and I’m typing this while I listen
to Jase squeal over pulling off his own sock.
I may not have had anything profound to say before now but I don’t think
that’s a terrible thing. For so long, we
faced bad news and tragedy and while dealing with all of that, I knew that one
day we would have our happiness; we would have our family to celebrate. And that is just what I have been doing! I have reveled in every first that Jase had
experienced and have taken thousands of pictures, literally! We have had our first Thanksgiving and
Christmas. We have held our breath while
Jase sat up for the first time and just last night we stood silently as he got
up on all fours not knowing we were watching him. We tell everyone how he’s pulling up now and
it won’t be long before he’s walking! I
have spent hours scouring Pinterest for the perfect first birthday theme (I
finally found it this week and I’m STOKED!) and I have mastered the art of
making baby food. We have discovered
that going out to eat is a challenge but not as much as trying to get Jase to
sleep all night away from home. We are
not in any rush to get him to sleep in his own room and we are both a little
sad at the prospect of him not being right beside us all night. We have learned that if Jase doesn’t burp
before he goes to bed, he will be awake 30 minutes after you lay him down. We know that he likes prunes and beef stew
and he does not like peas or wearing a hat!
He gets so excited when his Daddy comes home and he really prefers Mommy
to rock him to sleep at night. He is
fascinated by watching the dogs play but not nearly as much as he is when
watching the weatherman Brian Busby (it’s the craziest thing I’ve ever
seen!). He likes to sit in front of the
coffee table and bang on the front of it with a wooden spoon while squealing
like a tiny baby rabbit. He HATES to be
on his belly, period!! He thinks peek a
boo is hilarious and the Donald Duck voice Daddy uses is scary.
I could go on and on but you get my point. We are thrilled to have the chance to watch
our son learn and grow. We have waited
so long for this and we are enjoying every second. I’m not saying it’s been all smiles and
laughter since the day he was born; let’s face it, he’s a baby and his only way
of communicating is to cry. For the most
part, he is a happy baby and for that, we are so thankful! I’ve had my “Mommy moments” when I’ve needed
to have some time to myself, like every other mother I know. But I have known no greater joy than waking
up to the most beautiful smile in the world as my baby boy realizes I’m looking
at him! I honestly don’t know what I did
all these years without him….sure, my house was cleaner and I was more rested
but I wouldn’t trade this lack of sleep and toy cluttered house for anything on
earth!
So, if you’re facing a crisis or a rough time, take heart in
knowing you will reach the other side and when you get there, you will know you
are stronger for whatever you have faced and you will appreciate the mundane,
hum drum everyday routine that life can be.
In times of crisis, hold tight to your loved ones who want to help you
get through this because when you feel like you can’t pray, they will. God gives us wonderful people who have hearts
filled with his love and want to hold our hands and cry with us as we face
tough times. It’s easy to shut those
people out when we are hurting, don’t do it.
Let them bless you and one day, when you are past all this, you can
return the favor with an intentional act of kindness from your healed heart.
