Season 2 Episode 1

 

Phone calls are amazingly powerful.  The information they provide can bring us endless joy or painful suffering.  We have all received a late night phone call that has literally taken our breath away just by the sound of the ring because we know that no one could possibly have good news when calling late at night.  There are the phone calls that tell us you need to come say good bye to a loved one or you need to come to the hospital because we are celebrating a new life.  Some phone calls are meant to let you know that someone has been given the dreadful diagnosis of cancer and other are to share the joy of being told we are cancer free!  The range of emotion on the other end of the line can literally be from one extreme to the other.  We are all truly just one phone call away from our lives changing forever.

A couple weeks ago we received one of those life changing calls.   As I was standing in the driveway letting the dog out, my phone rang showing “unknown”.  Usually, that means work is calling so I casually answered, while asking JP if he could see the dog in the dark and said hello.  Jan from Adoption Network was on the other line to tell me that we had been chosen by another birth mom.  With an unusual calmness, I said, “Hey Jon, it’s Adoption Network, we’ve been picked again.”  I went inside and put her on speaker phone and feverishly took 4 pages of notes about this new opportunity.

Here’s what we know…..her name is Leah, she’s 26 and lives in Cocoa Beach, Florida.  She is pregnant with a baby boy who is due May 9.  She has a 3 year old daughter, has her own place, is the manager of a convenience/grocery store, has a car, a cell phone and is for all intents and purposes just like you and I.  Her mother is living with her right now because her step dad recently died of a heart attack.  We have spoken to her on the phone and she seems so “normal” which is funny because she chose us because she thought we looked normal to her!  She said she felt like we were regular people with real jobs and a normal life and she really liked that about us.

She knows about what happened last summer and what we have been through.  When Jan told her about what happened, she said, “That wasn’t their baby.  I didn’t get pregnant until August and this is their baby.”  When we spoke to her on the phone, she said that from the time she found out she was pregnant she felt like God was leading her to adoption and she prayed that God would lead her to the right couple.  She has said more than once that God has given her this opportunity to grow a baby for us.  In our texting today, she said, “I’m telling you, this is meant to be.”

The entire situation feels so different for us.  I’m not so naive as to think that the difference I feel means this is “the right one” but I am finding comfort in the fact that it doesn’t feel the same.  She seems so much more mature and at the risk of sounding ugly, she’s got her stuff together.  She not only has a job but is the manager, which means she understands that if someone else doesn’t do what is supposed to be done, then you have to step up and take care of things.  When we talked with her on the phone she said she felt like God put us on this earth to work and not be lazy.  That just blew me away because JP and I had been talking about people who live off the system just before visiting with her.

Another aspect that is different for us is that we weren’t shouting from the roof tops the moment we got the phone call.  We told no one until the next morning.  We just talked about the entire situation, pros and cons and how we felt.  We prayed a lot.  We waited until exactly 24 hours to commit to the situation, which is the time we are allowed.  I have waited until today to write this to share with everyone publicly, not because we are doubtful but because we are guarding our hearts. When  you have been shattered in a million pieces and you are finally starting to feel like yourself again, the thought of that happening twice is sickening.

I have woken up every morning between 3-4am in a total panic since the night we said yes.  As soon as I wake, gasping for air, I think, “Can we really do this again?  What if it doesn’t go the way we want? “  I almost feel guilty asking people to pray with us again about this, like we have used up all our prayer requests on all the other times we have tried to have a baby.  And a small part of me is scared to be happy…….what will happen next is a thought that continuously runs through my mind.  I’ll be honest, I’ve already nearly had 2 nervous breakdowns over this and we are more than 8 weeks away from the due date!

When I start spiraling down that dark hole, I just remember that I am the luckiest woman alive to have the most wonderful support system.  Our family and friends have done so much for us throughout this entire journey and I know you will all be here to welcome all 3 of us home!  So here’s to new beginnings, fresh starts and season 2 of JP’s Journey to bringing Baby Pittman home!