Well, since my last blog, I have spent a wonderful vacation in Myrtle Beach with my family celebrating my Grandma's 80th birthday! We had a wonderful time and I miss them already!! While I was on vacation, Nicole went to her ob appointment and was given a good report. Both Nicole and the baby appear to be healthy and right on track according to our adoption advisor, Cynthia. I am anxiously awaiting the official report from the Dr which I should be receiving soon.
Nicole is scheduled to have an ultrasound tomorrow in which they are hoping to determine the sex of the baby. We aren't holding our breath on that being possible because, let's face it, there isn't much room left for the baby to move around and cooperate in order to visualize that area. After all, we only have 3 weeks left until the due date!!!
We got an email yesterday from Adoption Network with a copy of the letter they have sent to the hospital where the baby will be born. We are to take this letter with us to the hospital in order to assist in the process of us bringing the baby home. We also got a pretty thick package from our lawyer at Adoption Network explaining all of the legalities of our adoption. I told JP last night that those 2 documents have made this feel so real for me. It's not that I wasn't getting myself emotionally and mentally prepared all this time, but to see those things in print just made me take a breath and think, "We are having a baby in 3 weeks!!"
We also had a little discussion about the things we need to get taken care of in the next 3 weeks before we leave. JP was very accommodating to my requests but then again, I've been gone for 10 days, so it's quite possible he would have said "OK" to just about anything I asked for yesterday!! His work has slowed down a bit and he isn't working as much over time, so we have a "schedule" that we are going to try to keep as far as checking some of those things off our list before we go.
I talked with Cynthia the other day to verify that we don't have to appear in court while we are out there and had a few other questions for her. She said that the ICPC (the legal pathway for us to come home to Missouri) has been moving quickly in the several months. This was excellent news!! She said she didn't want to give us a specific time frame so we wouldn't be disappointed but that she fully expected us to be able to come home within a week from our discharge from the hospital. As you can imagine, that made JP very happy!!!
I've been getting this question frequently, "Aren't you afraid she will change her mind?" I find this to be a rather ridiculous question.....of course I'm afraid she will change her mind. Just like a pregnant woman is afraid of a miscarriage or trauma during child birth. No one asks a pregnant woman, "Oh my gosh, aren't you afraid you will have a miscarriage?" or "Oh my, you know there is a risk of cerebral palsy with a traumatic birth, don't you?" I struggle every minute with the fear and doubt that this process brings. When others bring that up so freely, I quickly fall back into that emotional down hill spiral of asking myself, "what if she changes her mind?"
This journey has given me an unbelievable opportunity to educate people and allowed me to share information with people that they may not have had the chance to learn otherwise. I have also learned a lot about myself and we have grown in our relationship. What I know and what we have discussed with each other at length is that we have always had a "good feeling" about this adoption opportunity. I wouldn't be human if I didn't have doubts, just like any other expectant mother. But we truly believe in our hearts that this is our baby and Nicole has chosen us to be the parents for all of the right reasons.
So, for now, we will look forward to tomorrow when Nicole will have her ultrasound and see what that shows. We will continue to pray for Nicole and our baby. And we can't thank you all enough for caring so much about us, this wonderful experience and wanting to share it with us. In less than a month we will have a baby!!!!
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