I wonder why I even bother to make plans.....seriously. As you all know, we are scheduled to fly out of Kansas City tomorrow morning at 9:37. We are scheduled to arrive in Santa Maria, California, around 5:35pm. We had planned to meet with Nicole, our birth mom, after we arrived and visit with her, then get our bearings and take a breath before our baby was planned to arrive Friday morning. As I have come to decide, I had my first experience with "mother's intuition" yesterday. I emailed Cynthia and simply said I wanted to make sure that the c-section was in fact scheduled for Friday morning, since Nicole first said Thursday morning, then said it would be Friday. Cynthia called Nicole and emailed me saying the same thing Nicole had told me, c-section Friday at 8:00am. I told her that that was what Nicole had told me but that I was hoping she would have some sort of documentation to verify the change. She replied that she would verify the schedule change and get back with me. She left a message with Nicole's doctor's office and they didn't return her call yesterday. Cynthia emailed me today saying she called the dr office again and they were to get back with her.
Earlier this afternoon, Nicole was texting me and said that Cynthia was going to call me. Immediately I went straight to panic mode!!! I asked if everything was alright and she said yes. Cynthia called and said there was some sort of miscommunication and the c-section is actually scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:00. Well, as I said earlier, our plane doesn't even leave here until after 9!! I was so angry and believe me, I let her know that. I won't tell you specifically what I said but I did say that I was extremely angry and disappointed because we have spent a lot of money paying for a service that we were not receiving because of a careless and silly mistake. I told her that we are going to miss the birth of our baby because someone didn't do their job! Even as I type this, my blood is beginning to boil. I can not even begin to describe to you how incredibly angry I am that someone else has messed this up for us.
It would be one thing if there was an emergency and they had to do a c section early but this is just because no one followed up to verify information before I specifically asked. Cynthia, of course, was very apologetic but never once took responsibility for this mistake. Before I hung up, I said, "I don't have anything more to say right now so I'm going to hang up." My mother taught me a long time ago to try not to say something in the heat of the moment that I would have to apologize for later. So, I just quit talking!!!!
Cynthia said that Nicole was genuinely surprised that there was a mix up because she, too, was thinking she would be having a c section on Friday, so apparently, she was just as rattled as we were by this! Can you imagine being 9 months pregnant, planning on giving your baby up for adoption and someone says, "Oh wait, you have to do this tomorrow!" I realize it's only 1 day sooner, but try to swallow that pill when you are in our shoes......or hers.
We purposefully scheduled our flight arrangements to where we would fly directly into Santa Maria for our sanity. I'm not looking forward to driving in California but Santa Maria has to be better than Los Angeles!!! When I received this phone call, saying that everything we had planned for was out the window, we were getting ready to go get a water tank set up so someone could take care of our cows while we are gone. We have a lot of responsibilities and it's not like we can just pack up and go to California. Not to mention the fact that at the time, I had only Baby JP's bag packed!
It was several hours later that we actually got the confirmation that tomorrow is the day and by then, it was too late to do anything. We were basically stuck in limbo, waiting for someone to tell us for sure what was going on. So, while we waited, we decided to stick with our original travel arrangements.
As you can imagine, I was extremely emotional and sobbed for most of the afternoon. I knew that I wouldn't be the first person my baby would see, but I sure didn't plan on being so far down the line! And I guess I'm getting this Mama Bear thing down because I was so worried that he would be lonely as he waited for us. I called the OB department where he will be born and spoke with one of the nurses. She assured me that he would receive extra love and hugs until we get there. I know he won't be stuck in the corner of some dark and dingy nursery but I won't be there and that makes my heart hurt.
I've certainly run the gamut of emotions today, from anger and rage to sadness and then whatever it is I'm feeling now. I knew this wouldn't be perfect but I kind of had an image in my head of how this would work out and this is not even close to what I was thinking. I feel so stupid for thinking this would actually go smoothly. I mean why would that start happening now????
So, as I finish this post up, I ask that you continue to pray for us, for Nicole and for our baby. Tomorrow will be such a crazy day as fly half way across the country to meet our baby boy. Pray that this is the only bump in the road for this process and that everything else will go smoothly. Pray for my sanity and JP's nerves but mostly pray that Baby JP is healthy and doesn't miss us as he waits for our arrival.
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