Phone calls are amazingly powerful. The information they provide can bring us
endless joy or painful suffering. We
have all received a late night phone call that has literally taken our breath
away just by the sound of the ring because we know that no one could possibly
have good news when calling late at night.
There are the phone calls that tell us you need to come say good bye to
a loved one or you need to come to the hospital because we are celebrating a
new life. Some phone calls are meant to
let you know that someone has been given the dreadful diagnosis of cancer and other
are to share the joy of being told we are cancer free! The range of emotion on the other end of the
line can literally be from one extreme to the other. We are all truly just one phone call away
from our lives changing forever.
A couple weeks ago we received one of those life changing
calls. As I was standing in the
driveway letting the dog out, my phone rang showing “unknown”. Usually, that means work is calling so I casually
answered, while asking JP if he could see the dog in the dark and said
hello. Jan from Adoption Network was on
the other line to tell me that we had been chosen by another birth mom. With an unusual calmness, I said, “Hey Jon,
it’s Adoption Network, we’ve been picked again.” I went inside and put her on speaker phone and
feverishly took 4 pages of notes about this new opportunity.
Here’s what we know…..her name is Leah, she’s 26 and lives
in Cocoa Beach, Florida. She is pregnant
with a baby boy who is due May 9. She
has a 3 year old daughter, has her own place, is the manager of a
convenience/grocery store, has a car, a cell phone and is for all intents and
purposes just like you and I. Her mother
is living with her right now because her step dad recently died of a heart
attack. We have spoken to her on the
phone and she seems so “normal” which is funny because she chose us because she
thought we looked normal to her! She
said she felt like we were regular people with real jobs and a normal life and
she really liked that about us.
She knows about what happened last summer and what we have
been through. When Jan told her about
what happened, she said, “That wasn’t their baby. I didn’t get pregnant until August and this
is their baby.” When we spoke to her on
the phone, she said that from the time she found out she was pregnant she felt
like God was leading her to adoption and she prayed that God would lead her to
the right couple. She has said more than
once that God has given her this opportunity to grow a baby for us. In our texting today, she said, “I’m telling
you, this is meant to be.”
The entire situation feels so different for us. I’m not so naive as to think that the
difference I feel means this is “the right one” but I am finding comfort in the
fact that it doesn’t feel the same. She
seems so much more mature and at the risk of sounding ugly, she’s got her stuff
together. She not only has a job but is
the manager, which means she understands that if someone else doesn’t do what
is supposed to be done, then you have to step up and take care of things. When we talked with her on the phone she said
she felt like God put us on this earth to work and not be lazy. That just blew me away because JP and I had
been talking about people who live off the system just before visiting with
her.
Another aspect that is different for us is that we weren’t
shouting from the roof tops the moment we got the phone call. We told no one until the next morning. We just talked about the entire situation,
pros and cons and how we felt. We prayed
a lot. We waited until exactly 24 hours
to commit to the situation, which is the time we are allowed. I have waited until today to write this to
share with everyone publicly, not because we are doubtful but because we are
guarding our hearts. When you have been
shattered in a million pieces and you are finally starting to feel like
yourself again, the thought of that happening twice is sickening.
I have woken up every morning between 3-4am in a total panic
since the night we said yes. As soon as I
wake, gasping for air, I think, “Can we really do this again? What if it doesn’t go the way we want? “ I almost feel guilty asking people to pray
with us again about this, like we have used up all our prayer requests on all
the other times we have tried to have a baby.
And a small part of me is scared to be happy…….what will happen next is
a thought that continuously runs through my mind. I’ll be honest, I’ve already nearly had 2
nervous breakdowns over this and we are more than 8 weeks away from the due
date!
When I start spiraling down that dark hole, I just remember
that I am the luckiest woman alive to have the most wonderful support
system. Our family and friends have done
so much for us throughout this entire journey and I know you will all be here
to welcome all 3 of us home! So here’s
to new beginnings, fresh starts and season 2 of JP’s Journey to bringing Baby
Pittman home!
