Well, as of my last post about our journey, we had just met Leah and were full of happiness, hope
and positive expectations as we headed toward the due date. As many of you know, we are now home with our
perfect baby boy and are fully enjoying the wonders of new parenthood. I thought I would share the details of our
experience in Florida to get our baby boy home in this post. I will warn you, it’s not nearly full of
twists and turns, obstacles and difficulties, hurdles and complications as our
trip to California. For that, we are
extremely grateful!
Leah’s due date was May 9,
which came and went. She had a doctor
appointment the day before and showed no signs of impending labor. She was extremely disappointed and later told
me she felt bad for us because she knew we were waiting on pins and
needles. We decided we couldn’t wait at
home much longer, so we started planning our trip to Cocoa Beach. A coworker told Jon about an unbelievable
deal on airfare from Columbia to Orlando that we just could not pass up, so we
booked our flight and made our travel arrangements to go to Florida the next
Monday. We worked feverishly at home to
get things ready for us to be gone for an unknown amount of time and packed our
bags. We headed out bright and early
that morning to catch our flight to the Sunshine State! We were filled with excitement and a little
nervous but a great flight, easy car rental pick up and a hotel on the beach
(thanks to my Uncle Ron and Aunt Penny!) helped calm our anxiety quickly. When we got to our hotel, we decided to go
for a walk on the beach and were soaking in the beauty of the coast when my
phone rang. It was Leah calling to let
me know she was ok but thought “something was happening”. She knew we were going to be in Florida that
day and she said, “Wouldn’t it be great if he came today? That would really work out best for me
because I have all my errands done and I am ready!” To say we were excited would be an
understatement! Jon said, “How awesome
would that be for him to be born the night we got here?” Leah went to see her doula, who let her know
she was not in labor but helped her do some exercises and used some essential
oils and massage to help her body prepare for labor. Leah called me back to tell me all of this and
ask me to go with her to her doctor appointment that week. I was thrilled! I couldn’t believe she was asking me to go
with her!! How exciting!!
So, we hung out on the beach
for a day. Jon got horribly sunburnt,
which is a story for another day. We
were enjoying our time together as we waited for our baby. On the day of Leah’s appointment, I was so
nervous and excited all at the same time!
Jon stayed behind and I made my way to the health department. (In Florida, if you are receiving emergency
Medicaid for a pregnancy, you are seen at the county health department for your
prenatal care.) When I got there, Leah
was waiting for me and gave me a huge hug!
She introduced me to the nurse as her friend, which eased my fears of
how she was going to deal with the situation.
Immediately, I text Jon and said, “Leah told them I was her
friend!” She was so great! When the doctor came in, she introduced me as
the adoptive mom and he was very cordial, shaking my hand and telling me
congratulations! I was so tickled!
Now, by this time, Leah was
officially 6 days overdue and very uncomfortable. The doctor told her she had started to dilate
but he wasn’t willing to just wait and see what would happen, so he got on the
phone and scheduled her for an induction on the 17th, which was 2
days later. She was so excited, she was
clapping her hands and said, “Yay!! I’m so glad we have a plan!!” The nurse came in and gave us all the
information about when to be there, etc.
As we walked out, Leah asked, “Are you hungry? Can we go get something to eat?” So, we went to a Steak ‘N Shake and she ate a
spicy jalepeno burger with horseradish to try to kick start labor! I was too excited to eat but she didn’t want
to eat alone, so I sacrificed and had a chocolate shake! We visited for quite some time, just talking
like old friends. I had put together a
picture album of photos of Jon and I doing fun stuff together, us with our
friends and family, our pets, our farm, etc.
I wanted her to have a glimpse of how this baby will grow up, who he
will be around and what will be important to him. She had seen pictures of us from the adoption
website, but those photos were posed, taken specifically for the adoption
websites. I wanted her to see candid
photos of us that weren’t taken just for her to see. She LOVED it!! She was so happy to have something so real
from us! I couldn’t wait to give her the
thank you cards, but I did. I didn’t
want to overwhelm her with the sheer magnitude of hope she was giving us.
I left the Steak ‘N Shake
feeling so great! It was like I had
found a new friend who was so honest and transparent and real. I called Jon to tell him how awesome she was,
to which he replied, “Honey, I knew that.”
I went back to the beach feeling like I was floating on a cloud! I had such a peace about this experience
after getting to visit with her again and felt wonderful that we finally had a
plan to bring this baby boy into the world!!
Friday morning, May 17, we
woke bright and early, got ready quickly and headed out to Cape Canaveral
Hospital. We were there before Leah but
she was texting us, telling us where she was.
She got there with her friend Katy and we all hugged, like friends. We went in and Jon and I were shocked at how
the nursing staff treated us. We felt
like criminals. They acted like we were
there to steal Leah’s baby! After the
first couple hours, I told Jon, “If we can get through the next 48 hours, we
can do anything!!” Even after Leah told
her nurse that we were the adoptive parents and she wanted us in the room, the
nurse continued to whisper to her.
Finally, Leah said, “Whatever you need to say can be said outloud. We don’t have secrets here.” The nurse replied, rather curtly, “I’ve been
doing this for 25 years and people change their mind all the time.” I was shocked that someone could be so
callous and flippant about this situation, about our lives. It took everything I had to control myself
and not say what I was thinking. Leah
was our advocate while we were in the hospital, she was the one person we knew
was on our side. That same nurse refused
to speak to me or even look at me. Being
the persistant person that I am, when she would come in the room, I would
purposefully speak directly to her and she wouldn’t even acknowledge I was in
the room!! I have never been treated so
rudely by someone who claims to be a medical professional. It definitely made me appreciate the
wonderful nurses I work with who I know would NEVER treat anyone this way!
They got Leah going on the IV
medication to induce labor and she started having contractions pretty
quickly. Her water broke at 12:30 and we
called a nurse in to check things out.
We were quickly kicked out of the room and were patiently standing in
the hallway. We waited out there for
about 15 minutes when we were told we needed to go wait in the waiting
room. I politely reminded the nurse that
Leah wanted me with her and she very rudely said, “We have other things to
worry about right now! You have to wait
in the waiting room.” We waited with
Leah’s friend Katy for almost 3 hours before we heard anything. We knew they had taken her for an emergency
c-section because the baby’s heart rate had dropped but that was it! We didn’t know if Leah or the baby was ok and
it seemed like years before someone finally came out and told us that we could
come see the baby.
We were told he was fine and
that we could come look at him only. We had
to stand out in the hallway outside the nursery looking through the window at
this beautiful baby boy! We took tons of
pictures and sent several messages to friends and family telling everyone our
baby was born and that we were naming him Jase Ray Daniel. I stood at that window for over an hour, just
staring at him. We were not allowed to
go into the nursery to see him and we were not allowed to hold him. Still, no one would tell us about Leah. Her friend had tried to go into her room,
only to be told she was not allowed in there.
We were so worried that she was not ok!
Finally, as we sat in the
waiting room, the extremely rude nurse who had treated us so poorly came out to
tell us that Leah was ok but having a lot of pain and did not want to see
anyone just yet. She was completely
different toward us than she had been earlier and we thought that was very
odd. We later found out that after Leah
had come out of anesthesia, she had signed papers stating her intent to choose adoption
and that we had permission to hold him, etc.
It seems as though once there were papers signed, that particular nurse
felt like it was then permissible to treat us with respect and apparently, not
a moment sooner! It was not a heart
warming experience….
We finally got to go back to
see Leah and she was holding the baby.
At first, my heart skipped a beat seeing her hold him. Then she said, “Have you got to hold him
yet? You need to hold him.” And she handed me my baby boy, my dream come
true. He was perfect in every way and I
was instantly in love with him!!!
We were told the hospital
policy said that the baby was not allowed to be in another room overnight and
only one person was allowed to stay all night with Leah. So at 8:00 each night, Jon went back to the
hotel and I stayed at the hospital so I could be with my baby. Leah was so kind, worried about me all night
despite having just had major surgery.
It was not the most comfortable situation staying all night in the hospital
with someone who I had only known for a short time. I just kept telling myself, I can do this,
it’s not forever.
As I said before, Leah was
our advocate while we were in the hospital.
Early Saturday morning, when the night nurse was coming around to see if
Leah needed anything before her shift ended, Leah told her she had some
concerns about how the day was going to go.
She told the nurse that she wanted us to have our own room so we could
have privacy and family bonding time.
The night nurse wouldn’t commit to making sure this would happen and
said it would depend on whether there was a room available. Leah, being the assertive person she is,
said, “Well, you told me last night you dismissed several patients so there
should be plenty of room to make sure they have their privacy today.” I was so relieved that she felt so strongly
about making sure we would have family time.
It was very important to her to do what she could to make this somewhat
normal for us.
When we finally got a room
for ourselves, it was vastly different than our previous experience. When we were in California, they had fruit
and snack baskets for us with meal vouchers for the cafeteria and they checked
on us often to see if we needed anything.
The room that we were allowed to use, only during the day time hours had
no bed in it and 2 broken chairs. No one
came to check on us and it was 6:00 that evening before anyone so much as
offered us a drink. We honestly felt
like we were being treated like criminals who were there to steal a baby! Each time they came to get the baby to take
him to the nursery for various reasons, they would return him to Leah’s
room. It was very frustrating!
Sunday morning came around
and we had mixed feelings. We were
excited to be discharged and have official legal paperwork signed but we were
sad knowing we would be saying good bye to Leah. She is such a wonderful, kind, caring and
sincere person and the thought of saying good bye to her was disheartening for
us both. We spent most of the morning in
her room visiting with her until she said she wanted to take a nap. While we were talking, she told us about how
she came to find us. She said back in
October, she was considering adoption and did what every responsible person does
when looking for answers, she googled it.
She said she found us then and knew we were the couple who she would
choose. She waited until sometime after
the holidays to contact Adoption Network directly. She said she got in touch with them and told
them she had chosen a family. After the
lengthy intake process, she told Jan she had chosen us. They sent her profiles of several other
couples, not ours. She called Jan and
asked why she didn’t have a profile for us.
To be honest, I don’t know what she said Jan told her was the reason for
not sending our profile intiially. As we
sat there, holding Jase and listening to this story, we were livid! I could see from the corner of my eye that
Jon was boiling!!! Leah said Jan sent
her another packet with our profile and a few other couples. She told Jan she didn’t need to see anyone
else’s information because she had already chosen us and knew we were right for
her. After the initial anger at this
information wore off a bit, I realized it was just another brick laid in the
foundation of our situation and further assurance that this was meant to
be. Once she was given our information
and assured Jan that we were the couple she had chosen, Jan started the process
of getting in contact with us. And, from
my previous blogs, you know the rest of that story.
Later that afternoon, as we
were all anxiously waiting for the lawyer to arrive, Leah’s mother and daughter
came to the hospital. Originally, she
had said she didn’t want them to come to the hospital but when she began to
realize that she was not going to have any reservations about her decision and
that she knew this was right, she wanted her mother and daughter to see Jase. Another example of her compassion was the
fact that she asked us if they could meet the baby. Of course, we said yes! If you have never been in this situation, it
would be difficult for you to identify with us over how we felt about this
situation. She was giving us a baby, our
dream come true. Asking if she could
introduce her mother and daughter to our baby was such a small request as far
as we were concerned. When her daughter
walked in the room, I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was! Everyone says their kid is cute but Sammy is
gorgeous! We asked her if she wanted to
hold the baby and she did. So, I helped
her get settled in the chair and helped her hold her brother. She, of course, had no idea the magnitude of
the situation and was somewhat confused by all the tears being shed by the
grown ups in the room. We took many
pictures and everyone was making over Jase and how cute he was. Sammy brought us all back to reality when she
piped up and said, “I was cute, too, when I was a baby!” We all laughed and were thankful that she was
able to bring some light hearted cheer back to the room!
Leah took her family back to
her room to wait for the lawyer to arrive.
We paced around our room, unable to relax as we waited for the
lawyer. It was so nerve wracking! I tried packing up our things but felt like a
chicken with my head cut off!! Finally,
she text us and said he was there and we breathed a sigh of relief. Soon after, Leah came back to our room and
said she just wanted a minute with us to say good bye. She apologized for taking so long with the
lawyer and was afraid we were worried that she had changed her mind. She wanted to put our minds at ease and
reassure one last time that she was happy with her decision. We all 3 cried and hugged each other. It was such an emotional time, an
unforgettable moment as we stood embraced with the woman who gave us our
family.
And then, just like that, the
lawyer came in our room and said everything was done, the papers were signed
and we were his legal guardians. There
were some papers that needed to be signed by us and the nurse and then we were
discharged, like a regular family with a newborn. Jon carried all of our bags out to the car,
like every new Daddy does when you leave the hospital. I had to ride out in a wheelchair, much to my
dismay! Pretty much the only thing that
was different from us leaving the hospital and every other newborn family is
that a lawyer took our first picture outside, instead of a grandparent! As we drove away, I posted on Facebook that
May 19, 2013, will forever be known as “Gotcha Day” in our family!!
We had to stay in Florida
until we got our clearance to leave from Interstate Child Placement Compact,
ICPC. This is a federal law that
requires both Florida and Missouri to provide clearance for us to come home as
part of the federal child trafficking laws.
I was on the phone with my parents when I received the call that we had
gotten our clearance. I quickly hung up
on Nana and Papaw to take the other call and screamed for joy when she said we
could go home! Having a newborn is a
magical experience but trying to care for a baby in a hotel room is less than
magnificent!!! We were so very homesick
and when they said we could leave, we literally got on our first flight home. We got the call at 10:00 and we were on the
plane headed north by 5:00!! We were
greeted by family when we got off the plane in Kansas City and were never so
glad to be back home!!
Since then, we have had 3
post placement visits with the social worker, as required by Florida adoption
laws, with one of those being in our home.
We have an amazing adoption social worker, who has helped us greatly over
the past 2 years, so those were virtually painless! Now that those are all complete, we are ready
for our finalization hearing next Thursday.
Thankfully, we get to “appear” before the judge via telephone
conference. Once that is over, we will
be issued a new and final birth certificate and then it’s all over!
We are so thrilled to finally
have our dream come true and we are forever grateful to all of you who have
suppoted us along the way. We have
thoroughly enjoyed having people visit us and come see Jase. We want to share our joy with all of you and
ask that you join us as we celebrate our Forever Day next Saturday!
