One year ago today, we got on a plane and headed to Florida
for the trip of a lifetime! We could not
stand to wait at home for another day, so we packed up and flew south to wait
for our son, Jase. A whole year has
passed since we left our home for the last time as just a couple. 365 days ago, I nervously answered a phone
call from Leah who said she thought something was going on but wasn’t sure if
it was labor. That’s 8,760 hours…….525,600
minutes……31,536,000 seconds…..so much has happened since then! Jase finally decided to make his appearance
into this world. We got to leave the
hospital as a family of 3. We had to stay
in a hotel for a week with a newborn while we waited to get the clearance to
come home. We flew home 2,000 miles with
a week old baby and learned how to change a poopy diaper on an airplane! We got to sleep in our own bed with our sweet
baby beside us. We celebrated each month
birthday like it was a holiday. We
survived all our post-placement home study visits. We got to take our baby to
the State Fair. We sat at our kitchen
table and had our adoption finalized via speakerphone. We celebrated with over 100 friends and
family at our Forever Day celebration! We
had our first Halloween! We celebrated a
“half birthday” during deer season. We
finally had our first Christmas morning with our sweet baby boy to open
presents! I finally got to dress a baby
in a Valentine’s Day & St. Patrick’s Day outfit! We survived our first baby
hospitalization, barely! We lived
through going back to work, the first teeth, learning to crawl, the first bump
on the head and his first temper tantrum.
We celebrated the first time he rolled over, the first time he sat up,
his first laugh, his first word, his first “trick” and his first swing in the
back yard. It’s all so surreal. I know it’s cliché but sometimes it feels
like a lifetime ago and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. So much has been crammed into the past year
that I’m afraid I’ll forget all of it. I
don’t want to forget how awesome I felt the first time he looked up at me and
smiled or how amazing it was the first time he slept all night. I don’t want to forget the pure magic of the
first time he laughed when I tickled him or how precious it was the first time
he got excited when Daddy came home. I want
to always remember how wonderful it was the first time he reached over and
patted my arm after he woke up and said, “Mamamamama”. I’ve written everything down on the calendar
so we’ll never forget what day he first ate cereal and when he first pulled up
on Daddy’s chair. But I know we get so
busy living our lives that we don’t take the time to reflect on those priceless
memories we make along the way.
Recently, I was interviewed by our local newspaper for a
spotlight on motherhood. They wrote
about our whole story, from the very beginning.
This journey that we have been on since 2008, shortly after we got
married, when we decided to try to have a baby has been long, to say the
least. There have definitely been more
lows than highs along the way and there were several times when it seemed like
this day would never come, that we would never be planning a first birthday
party in 5 days! As I reflected on our
journey during the interview last week, I began to realize that there were
plenty of “reasonable opportunities” for me to give up and just say, “I quit, I’m
done trying to make this happen.” Honestly,
there were moments when I doubted this day would come but I can’t remember a
time when I thought we shouldn’t keep trying, doing everything we could to
bring a baby home. I can’t remember exactly when I read this quote but it sums
up everything so well. “Never give up on a dream just because of the
time it will take to accomplish it. The
time will pass anyway." -- Earl Nightingale. Jase is our dream and it took a long time to
get here but the time would have passed anyway.
We never gave up, we may have had our doubts about the process but we
always knew we would be a family. What
we didn’t know was that Jase would be so perfect and being his parents would be
even better than we could have ever dreamed.
Before I was a Mommy, I can remember my friends talking
about their kids and how much they love them.
I can specifically remember being told on more than one occasion by
various women that the love you have for your child is so all-encompassing that
sometimes, especially with a first child, it can be frightening just how
consuming it can be. I remember thinking
about how much I love my niece and nephew and wondering if it could possibly be
more intense than that. I was shocked to
learn that the love of a mother is so much more than I was prepared for, more
than I thought was even possible. I honestly
had no idea what it was like and I don’t think I can even come up with right
words to describe it. The love I have
for Jase is so powerful that I would do anything for him without a second
thought and so extreme that I literally mean anything! I know this isn’t news
to any of you mothers reading this but for this first time Mommy, it has been a
year of wonder as I learn to deal with the shear force of this astounding
emotion known as a mother’s love.
As I’m preparing for a very awesome and I might say, over
the top first birthday party, I wanted to share some of the humorous things I
have learned over the past year as I have experienced being the mother of an
infant boy. In all it’s marvel, it has
definitely had its entertaining moments along the way! For those of you who are already mothers,
enjoy these comical realizations. And for
those of you who aren’t yet a mommy, don’t judge……you just wait!!!
1.
All boys
love boobies, even newborns and especially those baby boys who have been
nursed! (That’s a blog for another day!!
J)
2.
Once those boobies are no longer used for nourishment,
baby boys use them for comfort or as in Jase’s case right now, a place to store
his “keepsakes”, like toys or pacifiers!!
3.
You learn quickly that you no longer care if you
have on make up or have done your hair.
Brushing your teeth on some days is a luxury that you relish!!
4.
You will leave the house in your house shoes or
partially dressed at least once in your baby’s first year of life……hopefully,
you’ll realize this before you get to your destination! If not, just say, “I have a baby” and shrug
your shoulders. All other mothers will
totally understand!!
5.
As with #3, you will learn that on some days
bathing is an option/luxury that you won’t have time to participate in but you
will only sigh and shrug your shoulders (again) because you will at least have
gotten to brush your teeth!!
6.
You realize at some point that you will never be
on time to any destination ever again, unless you’re in your pajamas and haven’t
showered!!
7.
That one rare occasion when you do have to be
somewhere but you don’t have to get your child ready, you will arrive
uncharacteristically early and everyone will be shocked and ask what’s going
on!
8.
You will suddenly and without warning become
acutely aware of the bowel habits of this tiny creature and be able to recall
at any moment when the last poop was, what it looked like and whether or not it
was “a good one”.
9.
You will also notice yourself talking about said
bowel habits with other people who may or may not be interested but you won’t
even care because you’re talking about your sweet, perfect baby!!
10.
You realize that leaving the house with just
your debit card and driver’s license is probably never going to happen again….as
you carry almost everything you own to Wal-Mart for some milk, diapers and Kleenex.
11.
Going out to eat is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy
more work than it’s worth and you’re totally fine with your husband bringing
home a pizza or take out, a lot.
12.
You will never know tired until you’ve been up
all night with a sick baby. It’s a whole
new level of exhaustion.
13.
About 6 weeks into this motherhood thing, you
don’t even remember what it was like to sleep longer than 4 hours at a time and
you realize you’re okay with that!
14.
You will wonder how on earth you used to stay up
all night for fun because you would give your left pinky toe for 8 hours of
uninterrupted sleep, alone, with no one touching you….until you realize that
would mean someone else would be in charge and then you think, “ehhhh, sleep is
over rated.”
15.
At some point, it’s different for each of us,
you come to terms with the fact that everyone has an opinion about babies and
feels free to share that with you, often times unsolicited. You will develop a rehearsed response for
this like the slight head tilt with a nod and half smile or a “gosh, I sure
didn’t know that” reply and then go on your merry way because let’s face it,
you’ve got this!
16.
Around oh say 6-8 months or so, you will find
that you no longer notice when you have snot, spit up or food on your
clothes. It’s just not even that big of
a deal anymore!
17.
It doesn’t matter what any book says, when your
baby is ready for something, like eating solids, starting to eat meat, drinking
from a cup, quitting the paci or sleeping in his own room, you will know. Trying to force something on a baby is like
trying to baptize a cat!!!
18.
Talking with your mommy friends about your
exhaustion, frustration, joys, firsts and generally anything baby will be the
most therapeutic and validating thing you can possibly do for yourself. You’re not alone, everyone is tired and no
one thinks their husband does enough to help.
19.
To go along with #18, you will learn that the
saying “sleep like a baby” is so ridiculous and it should really be “sleep like
a husband”!!!!
20.
Nothing and I mean nothing will prepare you for
when you have to leave your baby, either to go back to work, overnight or for
any other reason. Although these may be
necessary, they will all be hard and don’t worry what anyone thinks about how
you deal with it. Leaving your baby is
no fun but the good news is, you will both survive!
21.
Lastly, having a baby changes you, physically,
mentally, emotionally and financially. Most
of these changes you are not prepared for but once you realize why they all
occurred you will notice a huge stupid grin on your face because this sweet
baby is the reason you are exhausted, broke, cry during most news stories and
sometimes have difficulty putting the right words together to form a coherent
sentence. It may seem grueling at times
but you know that it’s all absolutely, totally, 100% worth it!!!
